Hi. Emma here. I'm in a lot of fandoms that I'm not gunna list here. They're in my about page. Feel free to talk to me, I'll literally love you forever if you do.
I uh… I’m not a massive fan of the Johncroft thing… And as I’ve said, I’m rubbish at writing Mycroft. Sorry…
Mr and Mrs Holmes had gone away for a few days, it was their anniversary and they had decided that time away from their two boys was long overdue. Mycroft was old enough to look after Sherlock now so they decided they may as well. Mycroft had reluctantly agreed, after negotiating a rather large sum of money for his efforts and Sherlock had just pouted and returned to the mud pie he was making when he’d been told what was happening. Little did Mycroft know, as soon as Sherlock had been told he was already making plans to make Mycroft’s life hell for a few days.
Five minutes after their parents left, Mycroft was in his room getting on with school work and Sherlock started to put his plan into action. He headed into the kitchen, standing on chairs to get to high up items, and started concocting a mixture that looked alarmingly like blood. He then poured the ‘blood’ into a jug and headed to the top of the stairs. He grabbed his largest toy, a wooden pirate ship which he could fit into, a pushed it down the stairs. It landed at the bottom with a clatter and he took the stairs two at a time to get down as quickly as he could. He crawled into the ship and poured the fake blood over his head and the carpet before throwing the jug away, closing his eyes and lying there, deathly still.
Mycroft heard the commotion and came out of his room to see what was happening, when he saw Sherlock lying at the bottom of the stairs in his pirate ship alarm bells started to go off. He ran down the stairs and quickly checked Sherlock’s pulse. At this point Sherlock jumped up and yelled,
“Gotcha!” Headbutting Mycroft in the process. The headbutt caused Mycroft’s nose to crack loudly and blood to pour out of it, real blood this time. Sherlock laughed and ran off. Mycroft quickly stemmed the flow of blood and tidied up the mess before calling his parents.
Two hours later Mr and Mrs Holmes returned to the estate, worried from Mycroft’s tone that something awful had happened. Mycroft refused to tell them what had happened and to this day they still don’t know, but Mycroft is still a little nervous around stairs…
((Sorry, that was rubbish. I’m not very good at writing the Holmes boys…))
ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE
This kills me every time
"TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN"