leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

(via youmakemegoasdfghjkltjsl)


jeanmarcoing:

did that fucker just jump on water is this fucking cat jesus

(via youmakemegoasdfghjkltjsl)


distract me pls

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?
2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
4: What’s something you really want right now?
5: Are you afraid of falling in love?
6: Do you like the beach?
7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
8: What’s the background on your cell?
9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?
10: Do you like your phone?
11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?
14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
16: Are you tired?
17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?
18: Are they a relative?
19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?
21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
24: Is there a certain quote you live by?
25: What’s on your mind?
26: Do you have any tattoos?
27: What is your favorite color?
28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
29: Who are you texting?
30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?
31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
36: Were you single on Valentines Day?
37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
38: What do your friends call you?
39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?
40: Have you ever cried over a text?
41: Where’s your last bruise located?
42: What is it from?
43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?
46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?
48: Do you make supper for your family?
49: Does your bedroom have a door?
50: Top 3 web-pages?
51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?
52: Does anything on your body hurt?
53: Are goodbyes hard for you?
54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
55: How is your hair?
56: What do you usually do first in the morning?
57: Do you think two people can last forever?
58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?
59: Green or purple grapes?
60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?
61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
62: When will be the next time you text someone?
63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?
64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.
65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
70: How many windows are open on your computer?
71: How many fingers do you have?
72: What is your ringtone?
73: How old will you be in 5 months?
74: Where is your Mum right now?
75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?
76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?
78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?
79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?
80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?
82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?
86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?
87: Who was your last received call from?
88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?
89: What is something you wish you had more of?
90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?
91: Do you sleep with your window open?
92: Do you get along with girls?
93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
94: Does sex mean love?
95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?
97: Did you sleep alone this week?
98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
99: Do you believe in love at first sight?
100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

boop

0: Height
1: Virgin?
2: Shoe size
3: Do you smoke?
4: Do you drink?
5: Do you take drugs?
6: Age you get mistaken for
7: Have tattoos?
8: Want any tattoos?
9: Got any piercings?
10: Want any piercings?
11: Best friend?
12: Relationship status
13: Biggest turn ons
14: Biggest turn offs
15: Favorite movie
16: I’ll love you if
17: Someone you miss
18: Most traumatic experience
19: A fact about your personality
20: What I hate most about myself
21: What I love most about myself
22: What I want to be when I get older
23: My relationship with my sibling(s)
24: My relationship with my parent(s)
25: My idea of a perfect date
26: My biggest pet peeves
27: A description of the girl/boy I like
28: A description of the person I dislike the most
29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend
30: What I hate the most about work/school
31: What your last text message says
32: What words upset me the most
33: What words make me feel the best about myself
34: What I find attractive in women
35: What I find attractive in men
36: Where I would like to live
37: One of my insecurities
38: My childhood career choice
39: My favorite ice cream flavor
40: Who wish I could be
41: Where I want to be right now
42: The last thing I ate
43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
44: A random fact about anything
45. Selfie

every episode of scooby doo

guy: something spooky's happening
fred: k we'll come check it out
fred: daphne, velma come with me
daphne: lol okei
shaggy: but scooby and i are terrified of everything why do you always fucking send us off alone
velma: shut up you two
shaggy and scooby: *run into monster*
scooby: RAGGY
shaggy: *oblivious to everything*
scooy: RAAAAGGGGGY
shaggy: zoinks!
*the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 1*
shaggy and scooby: *meet up with fred, velma, and daphne*
fred: what happened?
shaggy: M-M-MONSTER
velma: uh oh
monster: boo
all: AAAAH
*the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 2*
*they run into one room and come out of another one, i don't fucking know how that's possible*
velma: my glasses! i lost my glasses!
monster: *picks up velma's glasses and hands them to her*
velma: thanks. ....JINKIES!
*the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 3*
monster: whoops i tripped
scooby: i captured you
*they pull the monster's mask off*
fred: oh look it's the suspicious guy we met at the beginning of the episode who was super suspicious and greedy and he wanted money
suspicious guy: and i would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dog
scooby: ROOBY ROOBY ROO
all: *laugh*

smelly-kat:

things I can’t imagine

  • someone having a crush on me
  • someone randomly seeing me and thinking ‘wow she’s cute’
  • someone getting happy because I messaged them first
  • someone thinking about me, in general
  • someone wondering how I am
  • someone finding me attractive
  • someone doing something to try and impress me
  • someone asking their friend on what to say to me 
  • someone wanting to get to know me

(via fight-those-fairies-sam)


(via rosalaine)


tyleroakley:

tiktok-itsaclock:

fiftyshadesofugly:

We just got our yearbooks and these are my fav quotes

I KEPT THINKING I HAD A FAVORITE AND THEY JUST KEPT GETTING BETTER AND BETTER

senior quotes are the new text post

(via bruisedthroats)


alicatx:

threeheadguy:

candyrifle:

wildanduntamedthing:

dave-vriska:

enfeebler:

naathaaaly:

Reason why I hate cats. They’re so scary.

  #Reasons why I haies #they do mes the pet

THE BAKED THE CAT WHY ARE YOG THE ANAL

All the fucking time. People have their pets euthay did something to their kid who fuem or pulled on their tail or got in their fathing. Here’s a better idea: WACKING KID WHEN THEY’RE AROUND Aanks.

^^boldedBut this? Well, tarn, isn’t it?they do bet bad shit happenack.I’ll bet that littln’t touch the n right?
and OP is a fuckiing to blame the ending itself when the kid SMACKET IN THE HEAD.
ThURTS for a little cat. I’d lack too.
Ale.

is this supposed to be readable or am i missing something

Did I just switch channels or something what language is this

alicatx:

threeheadguy:

candyrifle:

wildanduntamedthing:

dave-vriska:

enfeebler:

naathaaaly:

Reason why I hate cats. They’re so scary.

THE BAKED THE CAT WHY ARE YOG THE ANAL

All the fucking time. People have their pets euthay did something to their kid who fuem or pulled on their tail or got in their fathing. Here’s a better idea: WACKING KID WHEN THEY’RE AROUND Aanks.

^^bolded

But this? Well, tarn, isn’t it?

they do bet bad shit happenack.

I’ll bet that littln’t touch the n right?

and OP is a fuckiing to blame the ending itself when the kid SMACKET IN THE HEAD.

ThURTS for a little cat. I’d lack too.


Ale.

is this supposed to be readable or am i missing something

Did I just switch channels or something what language is this

(via timelord-walker-in-asgard)


dorkly:

"Eye of the Tiger" Played on an Old Dot-Matrix Printer

"Papa, what did the ’80s sound like?"

(via cyrillior)